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If alcoholism didn’t run rampant in my family, Car Bombs would be a nightly guest in my house. No need for the whiskey, all we need is a shooter of sweet Bailey’s and an icy pint of creamy Guinness. I adore everything about this drink. The rush of beating every man at the table. The slight clink of glass, cups smashing onto surfaces, dramatic announcements of success, followed by elated gasps for air. The mellow notes of coffee and singing cream that linger on your tongue make you reach out for more. And the mustache….which is so much sexier than any Milk advertisement.
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Yes, if alcoholism didn’t run rampant in my family and tomorrow was never a worry, every supper would be concluded with a car bomb. I would iron my hair into springy ringlets, grab my clogs and dance for more. And each thrilling knock back would be chased with a bite of Chocolate Guinness Cake. Moist, thick, glorious cake with a shmear of slightly tart Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting.
I have restraint. Although dark stout laced with spirits call to me, I turn away. But this pastry had to be evacuated from my house immediately, for I could not stop lifting forkfuls to my needy face.
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Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! If you are looking for another Irish recipe, look over here.
Chocolate Guinness cake from Nigella Lawson
Cake
Ingredients
1 Cup heavenly Guinness (when no is looking, throw back the rest of the can)
1 Stick plus 2 Tablespoons Butter
2 Cups Sugar
3/4 Cup high quality Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
3/4 Cup Sour Cream
2 Eggs
1 Tablespoons Vanilla Extract
2 Cups Flour
2 & 1/2 Teaspoons Baking Soda
Pinch of Salt
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Prepare a 9 inch cake pan. I like to spray it with vegetable oil and line the bottom with a circle of parchment paper.
Cut your butter into 1/2 inch cubes. In a saucepan heat your Guinness up a bit and whisk your butter in until melted. Remove from heat. Whisk in your sugar and cocoa powder. Pour this mixture into your kitchen aid. Now mix in your sour cream. Add your vanilla extract and eggs. Mix until fully incorporated. Mix in your flour, salt and baking soda. Pour this batter into your cake pan and bake for 45-55 minutes, or until done.
Frosting
Ingredients
1- 8 Ounce package Cream Cheese, room temperature
4 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter, room temperature
1/2 Cup high quality Semi Sweet Chocolate Chips
Directions
Place your chocolate chips into a microwave safe bowl. In 30 second intervals microwave your chips, stirring in between nukes. Careful not to burn the chocolate! Once fully melted, set to the side so that it cools down a bit.
In your kitchen aide, beat your cream cheese and butter until fully incorporated and smooth. This only takes a couple of minutes. Scrape your bowl with a spatula and mix for another 30 seconds. Now, in thirds, pour your chocolate into the mixture and with a spatula, incorporate it in. We are trying to prevent the chocolate from cooling on the sides and creating annoying clumps, so scrape everything down and gently fold. Tadah! Delicious!
Now, you can definitely frost the cake all pretty, but it’s Saint Patrick’s Day. Everyone’s drunk, and you just want this cake to taste good. So shmear the good stuff on top and devour.
All photographs were taken by a man who almost got clobbered after he said “what happened to the cake?” A man who has been so very spoiled by perfectly decorated pastries, Evan Lentz.